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Thursday, December 15, 2011

Noble YA Holiday Blog Hop

To Love Fiercely, Wanting Nothing Else
Kimber An
I’m sure you’ve all heard the line, “It’s better to give than receive.”  For most of us for most of our lives, that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.  Giving means money out of my pocket that I could have spent on myself, right?  It’s like when I was a kid and I figured out, on my own, that Santa Claus was not real.  The way I deduced this was by the parental propaganda that if I was a good little girl, Santa would bring me presents.  All I had to do was look around at all the bullies and brats and monstrous creeps who got tons more cool presents than I ever did and realize that line was a crock.  It was plain to me the exact opposite was true. 
Being nice instead of nice simply left me unnoticed.
(Psst, little wonder I was totally floored by the lesson in how important it is to ‘catch a child being good,’ which I learned at the English Nanny & Governess School decades later.)
But, I digress.
So, what does it really mean
I think most of time it is just parental propaganda, but once you experience and fully feel the reality of it you will know that it can be profoundly true too.
To love fiercely, wanting nothing else, gratitude is essential. 
Gratitude is very difficult, young and old, to comprehend.  Yes, it’s true that the only appropriate response to receiving a gift is a smile and a hearty ‘Thank you!’ 
Most people, myself included, can’t truly feel grateful unless they’re first deprived of the basics, Food, Clothing, Shelter, or Human Rights.
For greater clarification:
Getting a metallic blue Nintendo DS for Christmas instead of the metallic pink Nintendo DS you really wanted is not being deprived.
Being cold day after day when you go to school where you’re bullied because you have no coat and only raggy clothes to wear is being deprived.  When this person suddenly receives a warm, beautiful new coat, she suddenly and fully comprehends what it means to be grateful. 
You feel it with your entire being and, here’s the important part, you want to share this glorious feeling with those who’ve suffered similarly.  That’s why the previously poor tend to give more to charity than those who have always been rich.
My personal lesson in gratitude happened after I suffered a miscarriage.  I was absolutely devastated, but I couldn’t cry.  I’d learned, as a child that it would just annoy people and then they would be mean to me.  For two years, I was miserable and terrified of getting pregnant again, and I couldn’t cry. 
I’d hear other parents complain, “My teenager is driving me crazy!”  And I’d say, “I wish Angelica was a teenager driving me crazy, because then she’d be alive.”  Those parents kind of just shut-up and went away.
Then, one day I got pregnant again anyway.
The sudden rush of hormones completely unhinged my buried feelings and I was finally able to cry for Angelica.  There was no stopping the tears.  It was Christmas time and I was completely consumed by the most glorious feeling of gratitude.  There was absolutely nothing else in all of creation I wanted.  Zip.  Zilch.  Nada.  I only wanted my baby to live.  It didn’t matter if she wasn’t pretty, smart, or talented.  I didn’t care if she had Down’s Syndrome (I was at high risk to have a Down’s baby) or was fat, skinny or had three horns growing out of a huge, twisted nose.  I already knew she was perfect for me, even if the rest of the world said she wasn’t. 
I loved my baby and all my babies fiercely and I wanted nothing else.  It was the most joyous Christmas of my entire life!

My Christmas Wish for all of you is that you won’t need to suffer tragedy in order to see all the goodness around you.  Maybe your family is not ideal and there’s nothing you can do about it.  But, your imagination is your own and it is glorious and beautiful.  You can create your own happiness.

Mariah Carey sings my most favorite Christmas song ever.  Incidentally, she finally became a mommy, to twins, after years of waiting for her Happily Ever After.  And she has a gorgeous husband too.   ‘All I Want for Christmas’ by Mariah Carey

Contest Question:   Where did Kimber An learn the importance of ‘catching a child being good?’

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Happy Holidays!

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  1. I'm really sorry that something so sad happened to you and in the same that i must said that it's true that without this kind of suffering we don't know really what's to be grateful.

    All my life my father teached me to be kind, respecful and to help the other, that being kind always is recompensed... he was a great exemple.. too great in the way that when he wasn't working he was helping somewhere be honest i was and still am jalous of that because that time wasn't for me. He always said later we will do this, later we will travel later... Unfortunately he got a degenerative illness and slowly started to change however as soon as it was know ( at the beginning when he was still himself) people disappeared. They told him they will come to fecth him to go somewhere ( relaxing, fishing something) but never came and he thought it was us who forbade it but now they just disparreared.No letter, no phone call nothing.
    I stopped my studies so i could help my mother because he couldn't be left alone and i lost him. We did everything possible but i lost him That's totally unfair! he was kind it did everything well and like that he was alone and suffering all dreams lost

    I had fallen gravely sick sometime sbefore and my life had been on the line so i wanted more of the present time not always say later ( study and after you will travel etc etc)but i didn't get that time to enjoy his presence i was robbed of that time beacseu of these persons

    Of course it's not the same that losing a child but it made me realise that i wanted to spend a smuch time with my family as possible i wasn't a girl who loved going out and such but now even less. I'm very grateful for my mother because i know it's difficult to take care of someone and she do her best to help me wjhen my health is defaillant and i would like to be able to show her how much she means to me ( each day, i try)

    I think people that suffered are the one who will be the last one to wish the same fate to someone else because they know what it really means.

    i wish you all the best

  2. Thank you for sharing of yourself and participating in this holiday hop fun. I send you good thoughts of joy throughout this season and blessings for the new year.


  3. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story with us. Happy Holidays to you and yours!

  4. Thank you for your inspiring but not preachy post.

  5. Thanks, Miki, Denise, Penny, and Henrietta! I named Angelica for a reason. She was like a message from God to teach me to cherish every moment with my family and never put off the opportunity to care. Stuff is just stuff and I can always get more stuff. But, you can never get back the moments you might have spent with the ones you love. Once they're gone, they're gone.

    Hmmm, I have the sudden urge to watch Muppet Christmas Carol now! Guess I should be thankful I have one beautiful angel to teach me these things instead of three terrifying ghosts!

  6. Miki, I suspect those people didn't come back to visit your dad because they were afraid of the emotional pain involved in caring for someone declining like that. I've found I must embrace the pain in order to also embrace the joy. Bless you for being there for your dad! I imagine the experience has given you a tremendous capacity for love which will enable you to create a wonderful Happily Ever After for yourself.

    Have a Blessed Season!

  7. Your post is truly touching and i congratulate you for finally getting your dream. A child is blessing, a precious gift that should always be loved and cherish.I also agree with you only those who have been without the basic amenities in life truly appreciate it when it is finally received. Happy Holidays!

  8. I am so sorry for your loss, but I am so happy for you that you did get that blessed child in the end. We all face these type of things and we deal with them the best we know how. My father in law just past away this week and I am sure it will be a hard Chrismas for us without him. He was one sweet man. Right now we are just trying to make the best of things. Thanks for sharing your wonderful story with us.

  9. forgot my email


  10. I have to thank a friend who due to illness was unable to have a child for convincing me that my unborn child was valuable and more than the consequence of a bad choice. I completely understand your gratitude for your baby and wish you comfort as you grieve. But you're so very right about learning true gratitude. My homelessness as a teen has made me appreciate everything I now have AND the hard work it takes to have it.

    Happy holidays everyone, may your season be blessed!

  11. Thanks, Virginia and I am so sorry for your recent loss.

    Rhiana, teen homelessness is an issue dear to my heart. The hero of my Ophelia Dawson stories is homeless and so is his honorary brother. It's an often overlooked tragedy.

  12. Thank you for your beautiful post.


  13. Thank you for sharing your touching post.

    Na S.

  14. Children are so precious, enjoy them and hug them tight. It has taken me 36 years to get from point A(first child born) to point C(15 years between them--third child through college and married)and it seems like it has flashed by with the blink of an eye.

  15. Thanks, everyone!

    For anyone who hasn't already, you have until Wednesday night to get your answers emailed to Erika. Thanks so much for Hopping with us!

  16. Hi! I had a post here but i dont think it went through. :( Dang.
    Thank you for sharing your story with us! It sounds great!